A Yami and a potty Crisis
by Shanana Dawson Walter
Summary: A Funny Fic that involves a drunk Bakura, a stolen potty, an a lot of Chaos.
1. The Chaos Begins

A Yami and a potty crisis  
  
Summary: A very funny fic, which contains a drunk Bakura, A stolen potty,  
and a lot of chaos.  
  
Seven 'o five am at Ryou and Bakura's house was usually very quiet because Ryou was usually watching his early morning soap operas and Bakura was usually still asleep. This morning was different.  
  
"I'm late!" Cried a panicked Bakura.  
"Late for what? It's Saturday." Said an annoyed Ryou.  
"Saturday? You mean I don't have to work today?" asked Bakura.  
"No, you don't even have a job." Said Ryou.  
  
Ryou went back to watching his soap operas, while Bakura went to go get in the shower.  
  
"No! You can't fall in love with her!" cried Ryou as he wiped tears from his eyes.  
  
Just then, the sound of "Days of our Lives" was drowned out with this horrid singing.  
  
"LALALALALA LALALALA LALALA FA LALALA RA LALALAA!"  
  
"Bakura! Will you shut up? I can't hear my show!" screamed an angry Ryou as he banged on the bathroom door.  
  
And just to spite Ryou as Bakura always did, he walked out of the bathroom, dripping water everywhere and he was also nude.  
  
"BAKURA!! Put some clothes on!" screamed a shocked Ryou.  
  
"Why?" asked Bakura.  
  
"What do you mean why? Because it's inappropriate to go around nude!" scowled Ryou.  
  
As if nothing could go worse, the doorbell rang. It was Yugi, Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu, Mai, and Serenity.  
  
"Who would come to someone's house this early?" asked Ryou who was on his last nerve.  
  
"Hiya, Ryou, Bakura." Said Yugi.  
  
"Um, hi." Said Ryou who was embarrassed because of Bakura.  
  
"Did my eyes just deceive me? Did I just see Bakura prance around here naked?" asked Jounouchi.  
  
"--;; Yes you did..." said an annoyed Ryou.  
  
"Okay, why is Bakura Naked?" Asked Anzu.  
  
"Because he's a total Idiot." Said Ryou.  
  
"I am not an Idiot! I just do this to piss you off because it's fun!" yelled Bakura.  
  
Another knock is heard at the door. It's Yugi's grandpa.  
  
"What a surprise to find all you WHATTHEHOLYMCCRACKERJACKCRAPS???" yelled the Grandpa as he saw a naked Bakura run by him.  
  
"--;; Bakura thought that he would go around lacking any kind of attire today." Said Ryou.  
  
"Whoo hoo! Lets party!" yelled Grandpa motou.  
  
"What? Party? Oh no no no no no! There is NO way I'm throwing a party in my nicely cleaned house!" said Ryou.  
  
"The hell you ain't! We're partying tonight!" yelled the Grand pa.  
  
"TT what did I get myself into? Why do I deserve this? I was a good boy!" cried Ryou.  
  
That night, there was an alcohol bar set in Ryou and Bakura's living room. Bakura was raiding it.  
  
"Alcohol! My friend!" yelled Bakura.  
  
"You really don't need alcohol Bakura!" yelled Ryou.  
  
"What do you mean I don't need it? We go hand in hand!" said Bakura as he petted the beverage.  
  
"-- That's what you said when we went to the fair and I had to clean up my beautiful white carpet when you puked on it." Said Ryou.  
  
"That's different. The roller coaster made me sick, not the beer." Said Bakura.  
  
"I have to go potty Yami." Said Yugi as he made a weird face.  
  
"Okay Yugi, Ryou, where's the bathroom?" asked Yami.  
  
"Upstairs on the right." Said Ryou.  
  
"Yami, you don't have to hold my hand this time, I'm a big boy." Said Yugi.  
  
"I never said you weren't." said Yami.  
  
Yugi goes into the bathroom to find a vacant hole where the toilet USED to be.  
  
"Where do they keep their Commode?" Yugi asked himself.  
  
Just then, Yugi hears a laugh outside. It wasn't Bakura or any of the others. It was Pegasus.  
  
"Aww! Look at Yugi boy, looks like he can't find the potty." Said Pegasus as he laughed.  
  
"W-who's out there?" Asked Yugi.  
  
He saw no one.  
  
"Yami!" Yugi cried as he wet himself.  
  
Meanwhile, Bakura was getting wasted at the bar.  
  
"Shaboingboing! WHEEEEEE!!!!" Screamed Bakura as he swung off of a random Vine. (o.O lord knows where that came from.)  
  
§  
  
Hope you liked my first attempt to a fan fic.... If you review, I'll add a second chapter to the chaos. R&R please? And you'll get rewarded in chapter 2! 


	2. Grandpa croaked!

Chapter 2  
  
Yugi ran to Yami in tears while pointing to this huge wet spot on his pants.  
  
"The potty was gone! YAMI! I wet myself!!! T.T" Cried Yugi.  
  
"Yee-Haw!" screamed Bakura as he swung from the vine again. (O.o Does anyone know HOW he managed to swing from a vine IN a house?)  
  
"Yugi, HOW did you manage to wet your pants when you're 15 years old?" said Yami to Yugi.  
  
"Because, the potty was gone." Cried Yugi.  
  
"Yugi, I'm sure no one stole a toilet, I'm sure you just made a wrong turn. You know how these two are, they're weird." Said Yami as he made the attempt to soothe Yugi.  
  
"Ah, Sonny boy, I'm ninety nine years old, I ALWAYS wet my pants until I had a catheter put in. ;;" said Grandpa Motou.  
  
"Like that's going to make the kid feel any better. You're also about to kick the bucket too old man." Said Jounouchi.  
  
"Shh! Death'll hear you and take me away." Said Grandpa Motou.  
  
"Nah, the old man has a few more years to live." Said Honda.  
  
Just then, Grandpa Motou falls over, dead as a doorknob.  
  
"Honda, you killed him!" Jounouchi whispered loudly to Honda.  
  
"Everybody stay calm, there is NOT a dead body in this room!" yelled Mai.  
  
"Dead body? IN my house? And YOU expect me to stay calm?" said Ryou as he freaked out.  
  
"Chill whitey, It ain't like you've never seen someone die before." Said Jounouchi.  
  
"Yeah? Just not IN MY HOUSE!!!!" screamed Ryou.  
  
"There goes that Idea, look at how WELL it worked out. I tell everybody to stay calm and the clean boy goes and freaks out." Said Mai.  
  
"You'd freak out too if someone died in your house!" screamed Ryou.  
  
"No, because I've had that happen so many times that I'm quite accustom to it." Said Mai.  
  
"O.o did you just say you've had people die at your house?" asked Ryou.  
  
"Well, those Salesmen just got on my nerves. ;;; "said Mai.  
  
"Mai, to get rid of a salesman, you tell them that you're not interested. YOU DON'T KILL THEM!" said Yami.  
  
"They kept bothering me. ;;; At least I got rid of them." She said.  
"Guys, I think we should just bury the body before the police get here and accuse us of murdering a ninety-nine year old man." Said Anzu.  
  
"WHEEEEEEE!" yelled a drunk Bakura.  
  
"I think we can just leave him here, he'll be fine." Said Honda.  
  
"-.- but my house may not be." Said Ryou.  
  
"Hey Ryou, where do you keep your shovels and garbage bags?" asked Jounouchi.  
  
"In the Garage." Said Ryou.  
  
"Okay." Said Jounouchi as he went for the garage.  
  
"I hope we're doing the right thing. O.o" said Ryou. 


	3. Ryou is a glutton!

Chapter 3  
  
(A/N: I realized earlier, I forgot to add my disclaimer so here it is...I do NOT own YGO cast members...n.n)  
  
Ryou went back in the house as Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu, Mai, Serenity, Yami, and the Yugi who wet himself were digging a hole. Ryou was at his favorite place, the kitchen.  
  
"Ah, precious food to calm my nerves." Said Ryou as he piled a butt- load of food onto a plate.  
  
"Where's Ryou?" asked Jounouchi.  
  
"I think he went in to use the bathroom or something." Said Honda.  
  
"But, there is no toilet to piss in." whined Yugi.  
  
"He may have " started Honda but he turned around to see through a window, Ryou, eating a feast for himself while they had to bury a dead old man.  
  
"Well lookie there...looks like the albino has been holding out on us." Said Jounouchi.  
  
"Ryou! Get your white ass out here and help us bury the wrinkle bag before the flies get him!" screamed Mai.  
  
"And leave my freshly made sub? No way!" said Ryou as he ate.  
  
"Get out here before I shove that damn sandwich down your throat." Said Anzu.  
  
"But it tastes so good! T.T" said Ryou.  
  
"Any day now white boy!" yelled Mai.  
  
"That's discrimination against all albinos!" said Ryou.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, this ain't a world history class, it's a home made funeral without the ceremony you idiot!" yelled Anzu.  
  
"Ryou, please? We need all the help we can get." Said Serenity, who was trying to act nice.  
  
"Get out here before I lock you in a room with Pegasus on Viagra!" yelled Anzu.  
  
"You wouldn't!" Ryou started.  
  
"Um, Knowing Anzu, she WOULD." Said Mai.  
  
"You shouldn't! you just can't!" said Ryou.  
  
"Oh, but I CAN and I WILL if you don't come out here." Said Anzu.  
  
"But, But, It's a dead body and there is an 'EW' Factor involved and I just cleaned up!" whined Ryou.  
  
"so? Hands wash you idiot." Said Mai.  
  
"but, it's nasty and I'll throw up my sub sandwich!" said Ryou.  
  
"Good, It'll give Peggy something to eat." Laughed Jounouchi.  
" EW!" screamed Ryou.  
  
"What? I was only joking. I find it amusing to watch clean freaks throw up XD" said Jounouchi.  
  
"Hiya!" said a kids voice. It was Mokuba.  
  
"Oo;; It's little Kaiba. Why is he here?" whispered Honda.  
  
"Maybe he's spying on us so Kaiba would know what monsters Yugi have." Said Jounouchi.  
  
"T.T Not my monsters! Please don't let him take them away from me!" cried Yugi.  
  
"Chill Yugi. Hey squirt, what do you want?" asked Jounouchi.  
  
"I saw a party and wanted to be invited." Said Mokuba.  
  
"No solicitors!" Yelled Ryou.  
  
"Ryou, he's only a kid, you can't talk to him like that." Said Serenity.  
  
". yes I can, I'm a white boy." Said Ryou.  
  
"Whats being albino got to do with Mokuba?" asked Honda.  
  
"nothing." Said Ryou.  
  
"Okay, lets get finished diggin' this hole before the flies invade and lay their eggs." Said Jounouchi. 


	4. The Awakening of the dead and Bakura lov...

Chapter #4: the wakening of the dead and Bakura love  
  
(As you last left off at "I hope you're doing the right thing" said Ryou. It stopped.... Well, I UPDATED!!! WOO HOO!!!!)  
  
"Relax, I bury my dogs in my backyard all the time" said Jounouchi.  
"Jou, DOGS are PETS!!! This is a ninety nine year old man!!! And we're burying him in MY backyard!" screamed Ryou.  
"Ryou, go eat a sandwich!" said Bakura.  
"Bakura, go ejaculate yourself!" screamed Ryou as he ran inside.  
"Harsh. I'm REALLY hurt." Said Bakura, sarcastically as he started laughing.  
They dug the hold and dropped the old grandpa in there.  
"that about does it for the old bat." Said Bakura.  
"T.T HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING ABOUT MY GRANDPA?" cried Yugi.  
"It's okay, Yug, I've had my dog get his head caught in the garbage disposal and he died too." Said Jounouchi.  
"Um, wasn't that serenity's dog?" asked Honda.  
"n.n uh, yup. It was frou frou...he bit me and I accidentally got his head stuck in the garbage disposal." Said jounouchi.  
"how terrible. You should have atleast hit him in the head with a shovel and dropped him in acid first, now your disposal will stink." Said Mai.  
"but Serenity vacuumed up my hamsters named Nathaniel and Superfly...." So I shredded her Parson Jack Russel terrier." Said Jounouchi.  
They put the last little bit of dirt over the grave they made.  
"okay, the bat is in the hole, lets go inside now." Said Anzu.  
After they went inside, Grandpa Motou decided to wake up from his "slumber".  
"Wha? Where the hell am I? And why am I dirty?" asked the confused old man.  
"a little ham, toast the tomato, andAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" screamed Ryou.  
"what happened in there? Did you chop off your hand?" asked Anzu.  
"DEADALIVE DEADALIVEDEADALIVEIT" stuttered and cried Ryou.  
"what are you trying to say? Take a breath and say it slowly." Said Honda.  
"Yugi, your dead grandpa is alive." Said Ryou.  
"nuh uh, he croaked remember?" said Yugi.  
"I saw it with my very own eyes, I saw him get up and walk out of that grave!" screamed Ryou.  
Bakura twirled his hand around his face, motioning that Ryou is crazy.  
"Ryou has lost what sanity he had." Said Mai.  
"Ryou had sanity?" asked Bakura as he raised an eyebrow.  
"I don't know." Said Mai.  
"Ryou hasn't had sanity since the last time we" started Bakura.  
"come on, what did you do? I'm intrigued, I MUST know what you and Ryou over there do." Said Anzu.  
"nope. NEVER!" Exclaimed Bakura.  
"aww, Bakura and mister glutton have fallen in love."  
"Ryou, "started Yugi.  
"yes Yugi?" asked Ryou.  
"Are you pregnant?" asked Yugi.  
"Yugi, must I ask WHY you asked me that?" asked Ryou.  
"yes." Said Yugi.  
"no I am NOT!!!" cried Ryou.  
"are you sure?" asked Jounouchi.  
"Jounouchi, I am THIS close to killing you." Said the angry Ryou.  
"but then you'd have to re-clean." Mocked Anzu.  
"that's why I didn't kill him." Muttered Ryou.  
  
(okay Readers, you're doing well with the reviews keep 'em coming and we'll soon have a chapter five) 


End file.
